Editorial Notes = clarifying information, additional insight, annotations

Hiya Reader,

As Eliot wrote, "April is the cruellest month." I hope all is well wherever you are in the world!

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Example of the Week

Sometimes this is a good example—or a great one. Sometimes this is a bad example—or just a funny blooper. Sometimes a combination. You never know.

Can you find what's wrong with this sentence — and do you know why it's wrong?

“We were eating my father’s favorite (of course): rare fillet, cold, sautéed potatoes, a cucumber salad.”

—From Lucy Foley's novel The Paris Apartment

Hit reply and let me know!

Actionable Tip of the Week

A trick to add to your self-editing toolbox right now!

Coaxing an orchid to bloom is a lot like the six parts of self-editing. Read the whole piece to find out why.​

Reader Question of the Week

Syd wrote: I have the opportunity coming up to verbally pitch my manuscript to agents at a roundtable. What information do I need to include? I will only have a couple of minutes, tops, and I want to set myself up for success.

Syd! How exciting! For this type of pitch, you'll want to focus most of your attention on the opening and closing sentences: the hook and the button. If you start and finish well, something can "go wrong" in the middle without permanent damage done to the overall pitch.

Between these two all-important points, provide a brief synopsis (think book jacket copy!) of the book and identify the audience clearly. If there are similar books out there that have done well, referencing them can be helpful to locate your manuscript's place on the shelf. All your description should be clear and focused, with the ultimate goal being to spark interest. How would you describe a favorite restaurant that your friend just has to try? Aim to make your manuscript irresistible.

Whatever you choose to include, write out what you want to say and practice out loud until the words flow naturally and with enthusiasm. This isn't strictly about memorizing word-for-word, because you don't want to sound canned, but you need to know, really know, the main points you want to convey and the order. Memorizing a couple of key phrases where you've gotten the words "just right" will be more effective in a live, in-person presentation (where "reading the room" might require a bit of a pivot) than would a robotic delivery.

Time your delivery each time you practice. Approximately 90+/- seconds is a great target, but for heavens sake don't go over two minutes. If an agent wants more, they'll ask — and that's a far better outcome than the risk of losing interest.

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Link of the Week

OK, so as much as I love diagramming sentences, I'm not sure I could handle this 1,288-word behemoth: guess who wrote the longest sentence in English literature!

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I ❤️ Hearing from You!

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Thanks for reading!

~Helene, your writing sherpa

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P.S. Is landing a traditional publishing contract your dream scenario?

If so, you need to write a book proposal. Find out more about why...and how I can help.

P.P.S. Free Live AMA

​Mark your calendars for May 28 at 3pm EST: I'm holding a LIVE Ask Me Anything for all your editing questions!

Go to the link to register for the session and type your question! The session will be recorded and sent to all registrants, so no worries if you can't make the call live (but I sure hope to see you).

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